Reset

A reset was much needed.

I saw it coming, probably years ago. Some of you might know that I’ve built martyr⁠— pretty much on my own. And so far, so good. I’ve managed to create things I would never have thought possible. Going as far as learning web development —and actually falling in love with it— just because I wanted to have a store that speaks its visual language, which is a direct reflection of me, at the end of the day.

Then, things started to happen. My life turned upside down and it got hard. Really hard. I had to reconsider crucial aspects of my values and relationships, and even more so how I was treating myself. The focus was suddenly on me. A focus I had been neglecting for so long. With it, I had to pause martyr⁠—. I did my best (or worst) I could to avoid doing it. After all, I wouldn’t live up to the very name I’d chosen. Until I couldn’t take it anymore.

A reset was much needed.

With immeasurable support from my loved ones, I survived. They stood beside me while time, an unexplainable force of change, slowly rebuilt what had been broken. I am now stronger and more grateful than ever before. I can still laugh at the same jokes, but I no longer cry for the same reasons. There has been a profound shift in my priorities and in what deserves observation, focus, and presence. What once seemed most important is no longer present. The silver lining is that the muses in everyday moments can spark joy, inspiration, and a range of emotions that fuel something greater. Now, laughing and crying, as opposite as they might appear, share the same purpose: to celebrate life.

We’ve been sold this idea that we can do it all ourselves. That if you set yourself up in a particular way, you can do anything you want. I’m a firm believer that with focus we can achieve greatness. Only now, compared to my past self, I differ in the path to get there. Life is about cooperation and synergy with other people and your surroundings. Everything is better and more fun with the right human beings around you.

I still recall the day Ahmad and I started exchanging friendly messages in 2019. He was even the first person I spoke English with outside of my English classes. There was no other purpose than creative feedback, which I think is one of the most important things we can have as artists.

Then, things started to happen again. But… this time was different. martyr⁠— is no longer just me. It was bound to happen. In retrospect, it seemed obvious. In reality, it took the hardest battles I’ve ever fought. I found a place that feels like home with Ahmad and Madi. We’re 3. I’m also a piece of their inspiring studio: mönk. I’m no longer alone. And I simply cannot express the immense gratitude I feel to share all this.

A reset was much needed, indeed.